So I'm veering off regularly scheduled postings because I need a little rant. My main guilty pleasure is my subscription to Us Weekly- I know I know. There are times I can't buy the clothes I want, drink the drinks I want, but I WILL know what the celebs are doing, and it WILL come to my doorstep every week and feel like Christmas. But this week when this puppy came in the mail:
I tossed it in the recycling. Without even opening it. Sorry not sorry, I know you work hard on that body, Heidi, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I like my body. I'm not the skinniest I've been, I'm not the fittest I've been, but I'm happy and proud and comfortable and no matter how good I feel about myself, these images sneak into my conscience as what I should look like, and make me see my body (that I work hard and cook hard for!) in a different way than I do right now.
It doesn't matter how good I feel, those pictures creep into my head when I'm throwing on my bathing suit (thanks, Society!), and it's not really fair because a) I don't get paid to be fit/skinny- in fact I don't even get a gym discount for my job b) I cook for myself after full days at work- no personal chef for me c) Speaking of work days, there is no time for 2-a-days and live-in personal trainers are not in my budget d) Just no.
It frustrates me that it gets to me but it does, and not to mention this issue that came just a few weeks ago:
Yall hurry we all need to get thin fast! Don't get me wrong, I love Jenna Tatum and good for her for busting her ass to get down to that size 0 (ZERO I HAVE LITERALLY NOT BEEN THAT SMALL SINCE I WAS 6 YEARS OLD), but it's just not realistic for the rest of us. And I have curves that I like that will never, ever fit into a size 0.
And this one a few weeks before that:
"Determined to get their best bodies ever, Jessica and Lauren race to slim down before summer". Now I love J Simp and really appreciate her bluntness about her weight and body, but this cover even managed to have me feeling like I need to go down a size or 2 before my wedding, and I found myself picking apart the pictures of me trying on wedding dresses (if I could just flatten out my stomach a little bit more, tone my arms a little more, lose some of those thighs to make the fit look nicer...). Just no. I want to look good on my wedding day but I also don't want to be let down and stressed out by unrealistic expectations for myself, and I by no means want to "race" towards anything unless it's an actual finish line and not something that US Weekly and other media outlets tell me should be a finish line.
So today I said gurlbye to my US Weekly subscription (PS they make it really hard to cancel subscriptions- I was about to just cancel my credit card because that would be easier than talking to 29 representatives to explain why I can't keep it up) and bopped on over for some positive healthy body realness with Meg, Jasmine, Amanda, Diatta, Gwen, Kathy, Liz and a bunch of awesome women who are a little more on my level (and budget).
Thanks for all the good times, US Weekly but it's time for us to part. For good. Now what am I going to do with these extra $100/year?? Hmm!
Linking up today at Little Friday, Lovely Thursday , Thinking Out Loud , Treat Yo Self
