Wednesday, August 14, 2013

"Doggergies"

Drugged up and passed out.
This may come as a shock considering I have an entire blog page dedicated to my bougie dog, but I'm one of those people who will talk about my dog until you tell me to shut up. Sorry not sorry.  Just look at her, she's adorable. And the Real Housewives got NOTHING on her when it comes to bougieness. She only plays with toys when she thinks no one's looking, doesn't play with sticks or anything else "free" or "dirty", sleeps on a Memory Foam dog bed (more about that later), refuses to get her hair wet, froze on the scale at the vet's office and literally tipped over off of it ("her knees locked up just like a dehydrated bridesmaid!" is how my mom recounts the story) etc. etc. Like all bougie ladies, she has a myriad of health problems that I'm convinced are made up including but not limited to: sensitive stomach, seasonal allergies, joint discomfort (which she displays in an extremely dramatic limp when there is company EVEN WHEN SHE IS MEDICATED), daddy issues...OK I made that last one up but I'm sure if she could talk she would go oonnnn and onnnn about something like that that Oprah dedicates hours of TV specials to.

So her seasonal allergies have been really bad lately. Her eyes turn red (Satan? is that you?), she gets itchy all over, and she gets a rash on her butt. Thank goodness for my vet who understands my financial situation because he told me just to give her one Benadryl three times per day and rub aloe on her skin for immediate skin relief before I spend $150 on the dog allergy medicines out there in the world. Yes, $150 for 3 weeks of allergy medicine. No, I didn't buy it. Yes, Benadryl has worked miracles. And yes, it also makes her groggy which is ideal before company comes over. And yes, I give my dog Benadryl. This is extremely comical to my Nigerian friend who tells me in Nigeria "animals are animals" and he would never dream of giving an animal human allergy pills. But the moral of the story is, try aloe and Benadryl before you spend a zillion dollars on doggergies.

*I also tried mixing baking powder and water and rubbing that on her skin. I don't know if it was the smell or the texture but she couldn't stop licking it. Fail. Maybe it works for other dogs though?

2 comments:

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