I Did Something Carazzayy (for me)

Today's my fake Friday haaayyy! We're going down to Southern Maryland for friends' wedding tomorrow and I. Cannot. Wait. It's going to be nice to get out of town for a few days and think about something besides the house.

So I'm veering off regularly scheduled postings because I need a little rant. My main guilty pleasure is my subscription to Us Weekly- I know I know. There are times I can't buy the clothes I want, drink the drinks I want, but I WILL know what the celebs are doing, and it WILL come to my doorstep every week and feel like Christmas. But this week when this puppy came in the mail:

I tossed it in the recycling. Without even opening it. Sorry not sorry, I know you work hard on that body, Heidi, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I like my body. I'm not the skinniest I've been, I'm not the fittest I've been, but I'm happy and proud and comfortable and no matter how good I feel about myself, these images sneak into my conscience as what I should look like, and make me see my body (that I work hard and cook hard for!) in a different way than I do right now.

It doesn't matter how good I feel, those pictures creep into my head when I'm throwing on my bathing suit (thanks, Society!), and it's not really fair because a) I don't get paid to be fit/skinny- in fact I don't even get a gym discount for my job  b) I cook for myself after full days at work- no personal chef for me  c) Speaking of work days, there is no time for 2-a-days and live-in personal trainers are not in my budget  d) Just no.

It frustrates me that it gets to me but it does, and not to mention this issue that came just a few weeks ago:

Yall hurry we all need to get thin fast! Don't get me wrong, I love Jenna Tatum and good for her for busting her ass to get down to that size 0 (ZERO I HAVE LITERALLY NOT BEEN THAT SMALL SINCE I WAS 6 YEARS OLD), but it's just not realistic for the rest of us. And I have curves that I like that will never, ever fit into a size 0.

And this one a few weeks before that:

"Determined to get their best bodies ever, Jessica and Lauren race to slim down before summer". Now I love J Simp and really appreciate her bluntness about her weight and body, but this cover even managed to have me feeling like I need to go down a size or 2 before my wedding, and I found myself picking apart the pictures of me trying on wedding dresses (if I could just flatten out my stomach a little bit more, tone my arms a little more, lose some of those thighs to make the fit look nicer...). Just no. I want to look good on my wedding day but I also don't want to be let down and stressed out by unrealistic expectations for myself, and I by no means want to "race" towards anything unless it's an actual finish line and not something that US Weekly and other media outlets tell me should be a finish line.

So today I said gurlbye to my US Weekly subscription (PS they make it really hard to cancel subscriptions- I was about to just cancel my credit card because that would be easier than talking to 29 representatives to explain why I can't keep it up) and bopped on over for some positive healthy body realness with Meg, Jasmine, Amanda, Diatta, Gwen, Kathy, Liz and a bunch of awesome women who are a little more on my level (and budget).

Thanks for all the good times, US Weekly but it's time for us to part. For good. Now what am I going to do with these extra $100/year?? Hmm!

Linking up today at Little Friday, Lovely Thursday , Thinking Out Loud , Treat Yo Self