Wednesday, June 3, 2015

That time i lost a chunk of my finger trying to eat brownie batter LOL

Warning: This is gross. Sorry.

So funny story... last night I was using my Blender Stick to make batter for my fav paleo friendly brownies when I suddenly just could not resist the urge to binge eat the brownie batter. I stuck my finger onto the blades to wipe out some of the batter when my other hand slipped and hit the "on" button (what a sensitive button that is!) and the blade started spinning and took a chunk of my finger with it. I'm really brave (sarcasm) and immediately broke into a sweat and threw up (how was I a camp director all those years?). The scene that Harrison walked in on was actually hilarious - brownie batter and blood splattered on the walls and me throwing up in the bathroom.

My finger was gushing nonstop so Harrison drove me to Patient First (no wait! talk about a miracle!). Since I am so brave I hadn't had the guts to look at my finger, so the doctor drew this incredibly scientific diagram to show me the issue at hand (see what I did there?):

yes. the doctor ACTUALLY drew this

At this point the doctor told me that this type of injury is outside of his comfort zone (shocking considering the level of detail in his diagram above) and sent us to the ER where I speculated who was the Dr. Carter and who was Dr, Carrie Weaver? Then a hand surgeon did some crazy skin grafting and stitching and metal rod inserting and wrapped up my hand.

I used the "stoned on anesthesia" filter for this one
Andi thinks the metal rod poking out of the wrap is a toy and I just woke up from a nap to her chewing on it, and she's been chasing me around as if this is actually a toy for her stuck to my hand.

So all this to say, I'm going to take a little break until I'm able to use my right hand again, Typing this post took approximately 9 hours (oxy codone is also slowing it down a little haha). So when I'm not fending off my dog as she tries to devour the metal rod that is holding my pointer finger together or rekindling my ER  obsession, I will be attempting to read and comment and write, it;s just going to be fewer and further between for the next few weeks.

All because I am a child with no self control when it comes to brownie batter.

PS: It's a lot easier to type on my phone since I have use of both thumbs so I'll be posting recipes on Insta over the next week or so,

PSS: Check out my post featured on Body Design PT's blog!

15 comments:

  1. Awwww poor you! Hope you are feeling better. Perhaps hand stirring in your future?

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  2. OMG that sucks!! And you still managed to make me laugh (sorry) with your description of the scenario!!! Yikes. Heal up fast.

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  3. Holy shit. THAT IS AWFUL! I am so sorry!!!!!!

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  4. Oh girl! The things we do for a little batter, right???? I hope that you heal quickly and Andi finds a new toy to play with! *hugs*

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  5. Oh sweet baby Jesus my skin just crawled!!! And thank you for the drawing, and not the actual finga pitcha because I would've barfed on my desk at work #notcool. Feel better love!

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  6. OMG girl that is crazy!! And you didn't even get to really eat the batter! Total bummer! Heal up quickly!

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  7. Noooo! Girl, I can't even. I am right there with you(with both having no self control with brownie batter and the horrible reaction to injuries). Just reading your post made me squirm and break into a sweat! I hope you heal fast!

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  8. Oh no, Hope you feel better soon.

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  9. I once cut my finger open, opening a can of Spaghettios for the girls when they were young. I was bleeding like a stuck pig. At the doctor's office, the doctor on call (not my normal) heard my story, and chirped "Oh Oh, Spaghettios." Fukker. LOL

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  10. Oh no!!! Hope it heals quickly for you!!!

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  11. OMFG lady!! I hope you're better soon!

    PS - I took a chunk out of my middle finger in grade school using super sharp scissors. I didn't even notice; the teacher came running over to me with a towel and told me to go to the nurse, asap. Ha! Meanwhile blood was squirting every where. Oh, the dumb things we do, right?! At least you got some brownie batter!

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  12. Oh dear. I hope this heals up pretty soon girlie. You are braver than I ...
    My dad actually has a very similar story with a blender. He didn't lose a chunk but he sliced open a few fingers well and had SEVERAL stitches.

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  13. A metal rod? That's intense! And what happened to the leftover brownie batter? Hope you got to make the brownies, eventually, because you know, priorities!

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