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So this is something that has always bothered me and has been an issue since I was 14 years old and started running outside (14! really pervs??), and THAT is cat calling/honking/men yelling obscenities. I know this is a part of living in a city, but it has been a thing in every city I've lived in (including an incident with cat calling COPS), and even when I did a stint living in the nice quiet burbs. And I know it's not just me- I see it happen to runners and walkers every day and read about it on other running blogs.
To me this is not only incredibly degrading and disrespectful and embarrassing, but it makes me feel unsafe. If these men feel they have the right to yell out what they would like to do, what is stopping them from actually doing it? Do they feel they also have the right to assault me simply because I'm a female and I'm running or walking outside?
I have an old roommate (hi Amanda!) who started "giving it back" to the cat callers, so for example a man yells "I want to grab that ass!" she yells right back "I want to grab YOUR ass". It at least threw them off, and provided some good laughs afterwards (just imagine when comments where genitals are involved).
So I'm curious- how do you handle this or how would you handle this? Do you think it's safe to "give it back"? Is there a "right" way to handle these situations? And why is it "ok" for men to do this??
Linking up today at WOW, Humpday Blog Hop, Confessions, Weigh in Wednesday
That would scare the life out of me. I am always afraid when I run outside... at least for the first 10-15 minutes... And then I get in the zone.
ReplyDeleteBut, I swear if someone made me feel unsafe... I'd be ready to defend myself... And make sure that I got as close to a public area as possible.
It's why I try to run around my neighborhood... or at least on a street with MANY houses...
I YELL.. and I YELL LOUD.
I follow that up with quite a fighting instinct.
;)
It's so not ok... but they're pigs. Is that wrong to say? Well, they are. They think for 0 seconds before they speak and have no filter! I don't know the best way to handle them but I completely agree w/ you that it's not ok.
ReplyDeleteUgh I hate that too!! Men are so stupid sometimes. I think you should give it right back lol! All is fair in love and war my friend :)
ReplyDeleteTurn those headphones up and just ignore it! I luckily live in a pretty nice area so I don't worry (too much) about my safety. I am extra careful not to run too early or too late at night and sometimes I will carry my joggers mace with me. I am not a big fan of "giving it back" because then the cat-callers are getting attention for what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteWhatTheHeckWhyNot?
I used to yell out 'F*ck you!' or stick up my middle finger. Once when I was young (and not running, dressed completely scandalously) I stuck my finger up and made other gestures and they went through a red light and straight into another car. Oops. So now, I just ignore it. I don't feel unsafe unless they start walking towards me or something.
ReplyDeleteHowever.. I am not trying to be modest, but... It just doesn't happen to me anymore. Guess I'm getting old / fat / ugly / un-cat-callable. haha.
it used to bother me, but now it's just annoying. i do keep my music up to avoid other people, but try to be vigilant about safety. you just never know people's true intentions...
ReplyDeleteExactly! I just get nervous because you never really know!
DeleteSO thankful it never happened to me...I live in a small place though.
ReplyDeleteKnowing me, I'd probably say something back before I could even think about it.
#wowlinkup
Haha! I used to try to have a bank of comebacks in my head but just don't think fast enough on my toes to say anything back ugh!
DeleteIt sometimes happens and bothers me, but I ignore it.
ReplyDelete#wowlinkup
It's SO not ok! You never see women hollering at men, or starting them down like they're prey, right? It's so gross. Minneapolis was the WORST city for this! Dallas is much better - I have few "holla' probs" here.
ReplyDeleteI usually crank the tunes so I can't hear anything and get in my zone asap... but always keep my other senses aware of what's going on around me to gauge for creepers. I try not to respond so as not to acknowledge them or their behavior at all. Except one time, when I was whistled at by a POLICE OFFICER, whom I looked directly in the eye and gave the middle finger to. Because seriously, you're here to uphold the law, bro, not promote rape culture. Asshat.
www.anuncomplicatedlifeblog.com
gauging for creepers = crucial. I had the same thing with a cop once! I was SO angry!!! It caught me so off guard that I just stopped and started at him, which was probably creepy to him. Boo rape culture.
DeleteI wouldn't yell back unless they were very close to me in that case...I might yell, "that's where I keep my mace!" #wowlinkup And men...grow the efff up!
ReplyDeleteOhh "that's where I keep my mace"! I'm going to use that one! but really, men, grow up!!
DeleteWe live close to a main highway and I went to the mailbox the other day after a workout with my workout clothes still on and as I was walking back to the house I heard I honking horn. I didn't recognize the car so I knew it was someone I didn't know. Creeps me out!
ReplyDeleteUgh, not fun. Especially for a girl just starting out running - it would make me not want to run anymore. And that's just sad!! People really do need to grow up!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIt makes me feel a little uncomfortable and unsafe too. It hasn't happened to me in awhile, but I remember running in college on campus and guys yelling stuff out at me. Like they had a chance or something after doing that? Yeah, no!
ReplyDeleteomg you read my mind -- i'm publishing a post on this tomorrow. it's not just while running (but in the summer, when i run in very little clothing, it's most prevalent), it's almost every day. ugh. SO SO SO annoying.
ReplyDeleteThis is so scary, Im talking about my incident Friday (Shameless plug) but anyway I think i'd be too scared to give it right back..idk though. Men can be creepsters.
ReplyDeleteI haven't run in a while but it was bothersome back in the day when I use to run. I tended to just ignore the lewd comments. #wowlinkup
ReplyDeleteI take it as a compliment and keep walking or running. Thing is you could probably outrun them but them approaching versus calling from a car is when I would be concerned. Otherwise I just think to myself, hell ya I'm looking fierce.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me nervous too. I wish I had a better answer, but I don't!
ReplyDeleteI will say I have never received cat calls that I noticed. The men and brothers typically raise a hand, clap or shout out words of encouragement. I run in groups vs. alone 99% of the time. #wowlinkup
ReplyDeleteI have never been in that situation. I'm not sure what I would besides put on headphones so I wouldn't hear them or tell them what I thought of them. It's definitely not ok.
ReplyDeleteI HATE it!!! I have boobs and for some reason men (in every single country and place that I visit) seem to think its ok to cat call, make comments, come up to me ... and in the case of Barbados, actually attempt to touch them because 'I cannot believe those are real'. Its disgusting.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the rant. You hit a nerve haha
I have no idea how I would react in that situation.. I think the first time I would probably laugh it off. But if it kept happening I would start to feel the same way - nervous that they might take it a step further. Maybe a "thanks perv!" would shut them up?
ReplyDeleteAt my age, I walk instead of run and nobody honks or whistles . But in all seriousness, I agree that it would make me feel unsafe. . I think it should be considered sexual harassment and reportable to the authorities.I think yelling back and interacting with them might just encourage them or piss them off. I wouldn't want either.
ReplyDeletemost of the time i don't even hear anything because i have my music going but if i do, i just ignore them. is it ok? no not really but i don't care; they're just being idiots!
ReplyDelete-kathy
Vodka and Soda
This is a big part of why I don't run outside or even go for walks in the park alone unless I know it's a time of day there will be a lot of people around. I really can't handle it.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me feel like women should stare at men's packages all the time - until they are really uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteCan I make this one of the reasons I don't run.. seriously that is so not cool :(
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