via @munroebergdorf

How to think about Hollywood's "problematic" movies (New Yorker): How race shows up in movies through time, and how do we address it? 

Private schools have become obscene (The Atlantic): As someone who has only attended public schools and worked in the public school system married to someone who has only attended private schools, this was interesting.

Your home's value is based on racism (New York Times): How white preferences impact Black wealth. 

Such a pretty face (Vox): Fat-phobia and dating. This article has some fascinating data to back up our actual preferences vs. what our culture says is acceptable.

Talking about the Atlanta spa shootings (Lily): Important things to keep in mind as we have tough discussions about violence against AAPI communities. Supplemental reading.

US saw estimated 4,000 extra murders in 2020 amid surge in daily gun violence (The Guardian): The killings that didn't make the news surged in 2020, and banning assault weapons isn't going to help the most vulnerable. 

The surprising power of simple check-ins (HBR): Burnout is at an all-time high and the most important factor in preventing it is creating a sense of belonging in the workplace. What does and doesn't help. (PS: HBR is doing an e-newsletter series on burnout that you can subscribe to here.)

2021.03.28 Sunday Reading List

Sunday, March 28, 2021



The weather was amazing this weekend and I lost track of time so we're Sunday reading late on a Monday night.

Our Asian Spring (The Atlantic): ready to put up a fight.

Moms are being shamed for onlyfans content (Lily): Many parents are turning to OnlyFans to provide for their families during the pandemic, and in some cases their kids are suffering.

Is the era of the GirlBoss over? (Elle): Female Founders' downfalls have been subjected to far more scrutiny than their male counterparts. What's up with this (besides the MF patriarchy).

Why it's so hard to speak up at work (NYT): Speaking up at work is riskier for women, especially women of color. Psychological safety is the answer.

Elliot Page could be the story of trans joy (Refinery29): The lens through which we learn about the trans experience is a cis one, and it has an impact on the stories that are told.

When solidarity becomes transformational (Building Movement): Thoughts and prayers are the worst, how do we engage in transformational solidarity?

Don't be surprised when vaccinated people get infected (The Atlantic): Helpful breakdown of how the vaccine works and why we will still see positive test results. 

The virus, the vaccine, and the dark side of wellness (Harpers Bazaar): Wellness influencers and anti-vaxxing and QANON ๐Ÿฅด

2020.03.21 Sunday Reading List

Monday, March 22, 2021

We're trying out a new thing around here that I'm calling "Fire Pit Chats". This attempt is to replicate the conversations my friends and I have around my backyard fire pit. Because of my professional background I have had the opportunity to hear different perspectives and learn how to sit in my discomfort and untangle complex social topics. One of the most valuable things to come out of this experience has been the continued conversations about how race impacts every part of our culture and non-white people's daily lived experience. I hope by sharing some of our conversations we can all learn to recognize the effects of race and how we can work to dismantle white supremacy. 

This conversation is especially timely with the events that unfolded this week. Ray has a unique perspective as a Marine Corps veteran, a father, a man who is half Black and half white, and as someone who has lived all over and worked in many industries. He talks through how he got started in his antiracism work, handling the discomfort that came with learning about himself, toxic masculinity, intersectionality (and what it is), where to start with "the work", and how to handle mistakes and apologies.

Check out Ray's YouTube channel that is a full library of resources to get your work started.

You can also find and share these conversations on my IGTV

[Fire Pit Chats] "The Work"

Saturday, March 20, 2021

Last week Robin DiAngelo, author of the New York Times best selling White Fragility,  announced the release of a new anti-racism book. I have to admit that while I recognize the importance of listening to Black voices on race topics, my initial thought was "are DiAngelo's books that bad they are encouraging white people to learn?" Enter Austin Channing Brown. We regularly discuss Channing Brown's work in my church circles and she provides an important perspective on religion and social justice, and last week she posted an interview with fellow antiracist educator Rachel Ricketts discussing WHY purchasing DiAngelo's (or any white anitracist educator for that matter) is problematic. I learned so much listening to this - if you are a white ally please make time to listen to the discussion ASAP.  

One of the biggest points they make is that DiAngelo and other white antiracist educators profit off of information they learned from Black educators, and that everything discussed in DiAngelo's books have already been taught by Black authors. Following this education, I polled the IG community for antiracist books from Black authors. Here is the crowdsourced list of books - I'll keep it as a living list so please feel free to message me with more suggestions.

Resources (videos, articles, courses):

Rachel Ricketts' Racial Justice Resources (articles broken down by topic and level)

Emmanuel Acho: Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man (video series)


I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown

An illuminating look at how white, middle-class, Evangelicalism has participated in an era of rising racial hostility, inviting the reader to confront apathy, recognize God's ongoing work in the world, and discover how blackness--if we let it--can save us all. 

Do Better: Spiritual Activism for Fighting and Healing from White Supremacy by Rachel Ricketts

A revolutionary offering that addresses anti-racism from a comprehensive, intersectional, and spiritually-aligned perspective. This actionable guidebook illustrates how to engage in the heart-centered and mindfulness-based practices 

Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad (good for entry level)

Structured as a 28-day guide targeted at white readers, the book aims to aid readers in identifying the impact of white privilege and white supremacy over their lives.

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

This book explores the complex reality of today's racial landscape--from white privilege and police brutality to systemic discrimination and the Black Lives Matter movement--offering straightforward clarity that readers need to contribute to the dismantling of the racial divide 

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Kendi weaves an electrifying combination of ethics, history, law, and science with his own personal story of awakening to antiracism. This is an essential work for anyone who wants to go beyond the awareness of racism to the next step: contributing to the formation of a just and equitable society.

Examining everything from eradicated black history to the political purpose of white dominance, from whitewashed feminism to the inextricable link between class and race, Eddo-Lodge offers a timely and essential new framework for how to see, acknowledge, and counter racism.

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And Other Conversations About Race by Beverly Daniel Tatum

Beverly Daniel Tatum, a renowned authority on the psychology of racism, argues that straight talk about our racial identities is essential if we are serious about enabling communication across racial and ethnic divides.

Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Brittney Cooper

So what if it’s true that Black women are mad as hell? They have the right to be. In the Black feminist tradition of Audre Lorde, Brittney Cooper reminds us that anger is a powerful source of energy that can give us the strength to keep on fighting.

Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall

In her searing collection of essays, Mikki Kendall takes aim at the legitimacy of the modern feminist movement, arguing that it has chronically failed to address the needs of all but a few women. Drawing on her own experiences with hunger, violence, and hypersexualization, along with incisive commentary on politics, pop culture, the stigma of mental health, and more, Hood Feminism delivers an irrefutable indictment of a movement in flux.

Nobody: Casualties of America's War on the Vulnerable, from Ferguson to Flint and Beyond by Mark Lamont Hill

Hill digs underneath events to uncover patterns and policies of authority that allow some citizens become disempowered, disenfranchised, poor, uneducated, exploited, vulnerable, and disposable. To help us understand the plight of vulnerable communities, he examines the effects of unfettered capitalism, mass incarceration, and political power while urging us to consider a new world in which everyone has a chance to become somebody.

White Rage by Carol Anderson 

Anderson pulls back the veil that has long covered actions made in the name of protecting democracy, fiscal responsibility, or protection against fraud, rendering visible the long lineage of white rage.

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi

The National Book Award winning history of how racist ideas were created, spread, and deeply rooted in American society.

Caste by Isabel Wilkerson

This book points to our entire social structure as an unrecognized caste system. 

Black antiracist educators to support instead of Robin DiAngelo's new book

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

via SoSheSlays

When Something Breaks, Moms Pick Up the Pieces. What Happens When Moms Break? (Glamour): Vote ๐Ÿ‘for ๐Ÿ‘ people ๐Ÿ‘ who ๐Ÿ‘will ๐Ÿ‘ fix ๐Ÿ‘ this!

No, the Tuskegee Study Is Not the Top Reason Black Americans Question the COVID-19 Vaccine (KQED): It's bigger. 

The Sexist Things Women are Taught to Believe Are Normal (Buzzfeed): Reading this had me like "oh damn that IS messed up that I believe that". It runs deep.

TW: next article contains miscarriage

The High Cost of Miscarriage is Emotional AND Financial (Health): My own experience cost in the thousands. And getting the bill in the mail weeks later was brutal. I'm glad this is being talked about.

The Fall of Armie Hammer (Vanity Fair): I.can't.stop.following.this.

The Empty Religions of Instagram (NY Times): Are IG influencers the modern day televangelists? 

An Ode to my White “Friends” on Being Better to Black Womxn (Medium): Five clear steps to take to be a better ally.

Marketers Are Underpaying Black Influencers While Pushing BLM (Bloomberg): Why are Black creators paid significantly less even when they have higher follower counts, higher engagement and better conversions?

How Leaders Can Reduce Stress and Boost Productivity (Entrepreneur): 2021 human capital trends are saying we need to laser focus on employee well-being. This includes helpful plans to implement at our workplaces. 

A Look at Conservatorships (New Republic): Conservatorships can get dark, especially if you live with a disability. 

2020.3.14 Sunday Reading List

Sunday, March 14, 2021

 We're trying out a new thing around here that I'm calling "Fire Pit Chats" because the attempt is to replicate the conversations my friends and I have around my backyard fire pit. Because of my professional background I have had the opportunity to hear different perspectives and learn how to sit in my discomfort and untangle complex social topics. One of the most valuable things to come out of this experience has been the continued conversations about how race impacts every part of our culture and non-white people's daily lived experience. I hope by sharing some of our conversations we can all learn to recognize the effects of race and how we can work to dismantle white supremacy. 

And so today on the heels of International Women's Day I'm excited to share a conversation with my sister-in-law Kiana about the importance of representation. She is an incredibly smart and talented (because I'm biased towards her let me stop my list of adjectives there) engineer - one of the few women of color in her field. 

Last summer E! News' (yes that E! News) Instagram account featured Kiana in a post outlining the stats of Black women in engineering. The post went viral and while there was an overwhelming amount of positive comments (thousands), many comments (many hundreds but who is counting) showed how much learning still needs to happen for most of America. Not only were people questioning why it mattered that she was Black or a woman, people were truly offended to see this post congratulating a Black woman on being one of the few to graduate with this degree in the US. Hundreds of comments cried "divisiveness!" and "this is what's wrong with America" and "since when did E! become a radical BLM account!?" People threatening to unfollow E! because of the divisiveness displayed in the post (don't let the door hit you on the way out, Karen!). This is why I'm so glad we are having this conversation, and I hope you will share it with anyone who finds congratulating Black people or publicizing statistics on race in the workforce offensive or unnecessary. 

Aside from the E! News post, we talk about Kiana's experience being a double minority in a white male based field. She talks through how she even got into engineering (completely self-driven because no one thinks to encourage women in this field), specific examples of the treatment she received from both classmates and instructors as a Black woman in a white male dominated field, and how that impacted her. She also covers what her current company is doing to drive more diversity in the industry and what is required of white allies to begin to dismantle white supremacy in the workplace.

See yall out there.

Fire Pit Chats: Why Representation Matters

Friday, March 12, 2021

 ๐Ÿ“–Reading: After wrapping up my February reads I'm on The Mothers by Brit Bennett (author of one of my favs The Vanishing Half) and finishing up Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria  via Audible. The Mothers has me all the way sucked in and I'm learning so much from my audiobook.

๐Ÿ“บWatching: Required Black History viewing- Judas and the Black Messiah on HBO Max.

๐ŸŽถ Inspired:  Kirk Franklin's Tiny Desk concert!!! You don't have to be down with the G-O-D (reference to Sister Act 2 ICYMI) to get down with this. I recommend browsing Tiny Desk's Black History Month playlist. Tiny Desk Concerts is a video series of live concerts hosted by NPR Music at the desk of All Songs Considered host Bob Boilen. 

๐ŸงดSkincaring: I've been reading about the shelf stability of a lot of skin care products, especially our vitamin C serums/moisturizers (thanks to Laura Scott), and so opted for the Drunk Elephant Littles from Sephora for my latest refills. Huge fan of their T.L.C. Framboos serum's ability to clear up my skin, and finally getting into the vitamin C craze (which are both included in the Littles set). I also like that the Drunk Elephant products range from 1 - 3 ratings on EWG*.

๐ŸŽงListening: The Higher Learning podcast has me LOLing and also really thinking in each episode. Rachel Lindsay and Van Lathan have great chemistry and it's really fun to listen to them dissect pop culture and current events.

๐Ÿ’…๐ŸปManicuring: I finally tried the gel strips everyone's been raving about- I opted for the Dashing Diva brand ($8 for 32 gel strips aka 32 nails) at Ulta or Target. The application was super easy and took less than 10 mins (no tools or lights required, they're just stickers you put on your nails!) and now I'm one week in with a full set still in tact looking like day one (even after hair washes! my usual gel manicures don't usually hold up against my hair). I'm impressed and ordered another 5 sets. 

๐Ÿ‘–Wearing: Everyone and their mom is telling me about these Aerie and Amazon dupes for Lululemon Fast and Free leggings (my all time favs). I ordered mediums for both and while they aren't as "barely there" feeling as the Lulu version, at a price point that is literally *one hundred whole dollars* less they're great. I prefer the Aerie leggings because they are a little lighter and the thin waistband is un-noticeable in my Peloton rides and strength workouts. My only complaint is no pockets. The Amazon leggings come in more colors, have pockets, and are good but a tiny bit thicker and the waistband rolls when I'm squatting. These are both great options for workout leggings (and I am extremely picky), I'll be ordering more!



*Using EWG Ratings: Environmental Working Group rates products based on the safety of the chemicals in the product. EWG Verified means there is no trace of any possible cancer-causing/dangerous/bad for you chemicals. 1 is the next safest, 10 is the least safe.

stuff i like rn

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Did a lot of reading over the last month to try to knock out some books from our Winter Book Club: Black Authors list. Books are listed in the order I would rank them.

#1 Such a Fun Age: This was SO good I couldn't put it down- I read it all in two days and I don't read like that. The story alternates perspectives between the Black nanny and the "mega woke" white mom. Through the story, we see how different types of well-meaning white people actually cause harm. 

#2 Queenie: This is another one I got through pretty quickly. The characters are so good- I swear I know them - and I love Queenie's voice in the story. The book follows Queenie, an early 20's woman trying to get her life together in London as she navigates a break up, family pressures, workplace racism, civil unrest, and mental health issues. I LOLed so many times follow by "eee should I be laughing.."

#3 When No One is Watching: I really liked this thriller that incorporates romance and a real history education (red lining, predatory loans that took down Black communities, slavery, The Great Migration). I actually learned a lot reading this, and it gave me some real Get Out vibes.

#4 Intercepted: This is a good, light, rom-com-esque read with some very detailed steamy scenes if that's your thing. After Marley splits with her NFL star boyfriend, she swears off athletes...that is until an amazingly sexy blast from the past comes to town. 

February Book Reviews

Thursday, March 4, 2021

 I swear this isn't turning into a Bachelor blog- I still don't even watch the show- but the Bachelor Nation represents a large portion of the US and it's important to unpack what is going on here. It's a lesson in White Supremacy for sure. 

My friend Charisse is back for another chat to discuss the recent happenings here (reminder: listen with an open mind and no one is speaking on behalf of entire subgroups). There are a few parts to this one, here are the minute markers in case you want to skip ahead.

  • 2:00: I don't see race!
  • 4:00: what's the big deal about having Rachael on the show?
  • 9:00: What Old South Antebellem parties are and Lindsay's experience with Greek life in the South
  • 14:00: Problematic plantations
  • 15:30: Chr*s H*rrison's interview
  • 20:30: The apologies and what we want to see from Chr*s and Rachael
  • 24:00: What we DON'T want to see from them
  • 31:00​ Where we go from here
  • 35:00: What YOU can do

And because everything in Bachelor Nation is moving at lightning speed, another event unfolded shortly after Charisse and I chatted which I broke down on Instagram (see here in highlights).

  1. Here's what I want us to take away from this:
  2. It is crucial for white people to understand white supremacy and how it shows up for us (Me and White Supremacy is a great starting point)
  3. Learn how to be called out and how to respond with action
  4. Hold your white friends accountable
  5. When you see something, say something. Don't put it on your Black friends or colleagues to call things out. Find ways to advocate that does not compromise yourBlack friends/colleagues or put them at risk. What we see unfolding in the franchise happens at even the wokest companies

there's more with the bachelor

Wednesday, March 3, 2021